


He Was Everything

by Benaya



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Dead Derek, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski Meet Differently, Established Relationship, Graphic Description, Hurt Stiles, Lydia Martin & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, M/M, Memories, Past Tense, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scott is a Good Friend, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:28:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benaya/pseuds/Benaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles lost Derek, as a result sheriff Stilinski takes him to a consultant to try and relief his emotional pain, at the office Stiles is telling about his life with Derek, yet it is not a regular story of any possible kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Stiles. Do you want to talk about what happened?" The old lady asked from her white leather chair, tapping lightly against the binder with her fountain pen. 

Stiles's eyes darted from wall to wall until landing on a light spot above a lone potted cactus, the old lady cleared her throat and said again.

"Stiles, i know it's hard but talking about it would help, i promise" She offered another synthetic smile, like the one she gave him when his father led him to her door. he hated that smile. It proved that the world didn't shine like it used to.

"We- we were...uh we" Stiles rubbed his palms together shaking slightly when the bruises on his fingers began to sting "we were on our way to my dad's retirement party, it uh-it was a big deal for him as the sheriff, so w-we decided to drive over from Laura's" he felt a familiar stinging feeling at the base of his nose. He was about to cry.

"And what happened then?" She pried deeper and made Stiles snap back from the light spot to her.

"Then the tr-truck hit the" he swallowed "it hit his side of the car and-d i blacked out" he shut his lips and bit down on the tender flesh to keep himself from crying.

"And then you woke up at the hospital, your father told me that you started to scream as soon as you woke up, you were aware that he is no longer here, weren't you?" The old lady wrote something down but he didn't care, just like she didn't care about him .Didn't care that the best and the most important person in his entire life was now gone, because of course she won't, she's here for the money. Nothing really fazed an old woman who lived in a cold world like this.

Stiles shook his head and the old lady finally looked away from him. He knew that the reason his father sent him to the old lady. He hated that too. Eyes still darting from wall to wall.  
"I don't want to talk about that" he said.

"Then tell me something else" she placed the binder on the coffee table and removed her glasses.

"Like what?" He asked.

"Like, when was the first time you met him?".

He gasped at the words, of course he remembered, it was the best day of his life probably. But again, it's nothing now that he's gone.

"Stiles, you have to try, he wouldn't want you to live like that for the rest of your life" she offered. What does she know? She knows nothing. Ha! Stiles known that already.  
"Let's start at the beginning, when did you two meet?".

"I met him 9 years ago at the beacon hills preserve" the old lady smiled synthetically again.

"And how was that?".

"I was there with Scott- my best friend Scott ,we were looking for his inhaler. We uh...we were sneaking into the preserve the previous night to" he smiled at the thought "we looked for a dead body" the old lady gave him a disgusted look and a frown. Good. "When we were teenagers, i found it interesting to listen to the police scanner and get us in trouble, so one time we got caught and Scott lost his inhaler, it was really expensive so we had to go back the next day to get it. That's when i met him" standing in the sea of dead brown leaves. They stood on one side as he stood before them, the scene was breathe taking, and if he could he'll relive it for the rest of his life.

"That was when i met Derek"


	2. Chapter 2

"This is private property" Derek called towards the teens, but Stiles couldn't really process what happened, because the guy who stood before him was beautiful, pale skin and eyes while his hair is dark and his cheekbones can be a national landscape.  
"I said it's private property" Derek insisted again.

"Ah yeah man sorry we didn't notice" Stiles chuckled and scratched his buzzed head.

"Yeah we were just looking for my inhaler" Scott smiled at Derek, trying to relieve the tension but Derek snorted and fished his pocket for something. Scott was about to say something when Derek finally took a white object from his pocket and thrown it towards them, when Scott jumped to catch it Derek started to walk away.

It was somehow scary how much these few minutes made him so captivated, the way he walked was like summer hot breeze and the way his voice filled the cold air made Stiles shiver. He was beautiful. The wintery slumber around them was looking dead next to Derek's living eyes, the whole sky was contained inside those pair of jewels. And just like that Derek took it away. His heart. Yet why didn't he notice then that he fell so hard.

Scott looked between the spot Derek stood at and Stiles, he was probably aware of what was going through Stiles's mind as well, because he smiled softly at him and shoved few dry leaves into his hoodie. Like every normal bro should.

"Omg! What was that for!" He squealed when a cold drop flowed down his back.

"You were day dreaming about him" Scott grinned.

"How can i daydream about someone i don't even know?" Stiles protested "is that your inhaler?".

"Yeah" Scott straightened himself up to look towards the trees "I think that was Derek Hale, why did he have my inhaler?".

Curiosity got the best of him and he caved in "You know him?" Stiles asked.

"Not personally, but he's part of that dark family, the Hales" Scott looked at him in confusion before remembering something "But i thought they moved away, wait wasn't Derek the crazy dude who almost killed Allison's aunt?" Stiles frowned at his bro and started to push him towards his jeep. He remembered that, his father worked that case few years back, but according to him the case was completely different.

"I wonder why she's in Eichen House and he's roaming the woods freely" Stiles sighed out. A sudden rustle of leaves made them both turn around but nothing was there, just old naked trees and dead leaves "Anyway, we got what we were looking for, let's go before some mountain lion eats us" they chuckled before looking at each other in horror and running fast towards the jeep.

-

"Stiles, I've heard that you guys almost got arrested yesterday. Again" Lydia smiled mischievously at the teens and placed her tray on the table, "found something bad?".

"We found Derek Hale today" Scott chimed in but Stiles slapped him on the shoulder in return.

"The Hales are back? I thought they ran away few years ago" she teased.

"Don't talk that way Lyds, you know what happened" of course Lydia knew, her father was the one to help the Hales with legal aspects when they left beacon hills.

"Aww don't be so overprotective, why are you so protective actually?" Lydia pried again.

"I'm not" Scott and Lydia exchanged worried looks until he spoke again "i just don't like people who talk falsely about others" Scott smiled at him "why is he smiling?" Lydia joined in "why are you smiling?".

"Nothing" she offered but Stiles knew better, Scott was probably just goofing about his daydreaming but Lydia was definitely different, she may be smarter than the whole region together but she sure can't resist gossip. That's it.

"You knew they're back" Lydia smiled again and nodded "why did you know?".

"His little sister is going to be my freshman project when she'll go back to school, here, in a few days" she flipped her perfect strawberry blonde hair behind her shoulder before straightening proudly. She was digging for the compliments because she got another student tutored perfectly. Good thing they love her.

"Wow Lyds, congratulations" Scott gave in and bestowed yet another compliment to their queen.

"Yeah, congratulations" Stiles chimed in and Lydia mellowed down and kissed them softly on the forehead.

"What are we celebrating?" Allison dropped her bag by Scott's chair before kissing him softly on the cheek.

"Lydia got another tutored student to her list" Scott said offering Allison his chips which she gladly took.

"Ah yeah next is the Hale girl right" Allison said brightly as the teens sucked in air. Allison is amazingly strong. When her aunt gone mad she didn't distant herself because of the rumors. She stood strong while holding onto her friends and family. It was one of the reasons Stiles loved her too.

"We met Derek Hale today" Scott confessed to his girlfriend. Obviously didn't want to keep her in the dark.

She blinked at them before smiling dazzlingly again "i see, and?" She asked, trying to keep her laugh at bay. Scott just looked puzzled and confused as always when Lydia groaned.

"And you chose him as your boyfriend. Really Ali ,you could've done so much better" Lydia teased.

"Yeah sooooo much better" Stiles joined in just for the fun of it, Scott shrugged and flipped him off before hugging his girlfriend closer and nuzzling at her cheek "ugh you disgust me".

"Anyway, back to the real deal" Lydia grinned at Stiles "i heard Derek Hale got quite handsome in the past few years".

"He's fine"

Oh what an underestimated comment, what a fool he would be if he told her that Derek was so beautiful that he felt his breath escape and never returning, because in few years he will cry, laugh, smile, kiss and love that person more then the whole world ever could. if only they met sooner, if only Stiles could get few more minutes, seconds, something, With Derek.

"Oops! Gotta go ,Harris is going to slaughter me for being late to his class" Stiles smiled at his friends and walked away.

-

"You met him in the middle of the forest and fell in love, sounds like fairly tale material" the old lady shifted in her chair.

"I didn't know i fell in love with him then, i actually felt a little frightened by him. But now that i look back, i think that i started to love him from the first moment" Stiles sighed as he rubbed his palms against his eyes.

"Then what did make you realize you love him" she asked, and this time actually sounding curious.

"It took some well brewed years until i got that" Stiles remarked, the old lady took a pillow and placed it in her lap, as if preparing herself to hear his long long story. He smiled weakly at her, maybe she really was interested in his life. Ridiculous old hag, he thought to himself. There are things that will never leave his heart the right way to make her understand how Derek molded his heart from scratch. And how now it was broken to pieces now. Useless, he chanted in his heart.

"Three weeks after, i met him again"...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one may take a while♡
> 
> ♡My beloved this chapter is for you ♡♡♡♡ thank you for always supporting this ill minded girl and her delusions on sterek♡♡♡♡♡


	3. Chapter 3

I was driving my jeep back from Scott's and decided to take a detour through a small part of the forest, some said it was now full of dangerous animals but i knew better. My father always brought his reports back home and as you understood till now, i got curious and checked them, but no animal attacks were reported so no real danger. 

Good thing i was driving with the lights on (bad habit of mine, to drive without them) because the second i turned left someone jumped before my car. I admit i screamed in horror, thought it was a mountain lion or a wolf. I hit the brakes which didn't work so well against the muddy road but did stop the car a few inches of the person who held his hand high up, signing to me that i should stop, which a rational person would say an obvious no. I've seen enough horror movies, but apparently they didn't give the same effect to me as it did to others.

I rushed out of the car and into the stormy weather, taking cautious steps towards the soaked wet person who stood before my car. Again, a rational person would've taken his (Mrs . McCall's ) bat from the passenger seat (not just for mental support) which i wasn't.

The headlights blinded me for a few seconds when i tried to sneak a peak at the figure who stood before them, and as my eyes stared to adjust i was amazed to find no other then Derek himself standing there, drenched and pale as a sheet.

"Holy shit! Are you alright?!" He rushed towards the swaying men. When he stepped closer it was obvious why he looked so pale.  
"Oh my god! Christ! Derek you're bleeding! Oh fuc- im calling an ambulance hold on!" He fished his pocket for his cell and pressed Derek to lean against the car so he won't fall. Finally when he took his phone out Derek swung his hand and grabbed the phone.  
"Do you want to call somebody else?" Derek murmured something under his breath that Stiles faild to catch and smashed the phone against the hood of the car mercilessly.  
"Holy sh- dude you can't do that!" He cried out but Derek didn't appear to care at all, he grabbed Stiles by his shirt and pulled him closer.

"Hospital. Not. Good. Just need .to rest" he said in broken hitched up breaths.

"No!no!nope! Im taking you to a hospital" Stiles helped Derek in getting inside the car so he could drive him to the hospital before he bleeds out into the rain.

Derek slumped into the front seat with a pained groan, while Stiles tried to find anything to help Derek stop or delay his bleeding abdomen. At last he found a towel in the back seat and ordered Derek to press onto his wound, he accepted the towel but as Stiles buckled his seat belt Derek grabbed his hand to beg him again.

"No. Hospital" Stiles was about to protest again when Derek looked him straight in the eyes, determined but still hurt and afraid "please" he begged.

He drummed his fingers against the wheel and the sighed "im taking you to my house where im going to patch you up" Stiles said and Derek released his wrist "and if you start dying im taking you to the hospital" he glared at Derek who nodded in response.

-

"Heavens! What was the cause to all of that!" The old lady tapped her heart to calm it. Wonder if the excitement will kill her at some point. Hopes and dreams, hopes and dreams.

-

The drive up to my house took no less then five minutes and by the time we arrived Derek began to regain some color, but still he was soaked to the bone and at this rate maybe the bleeding won't be the cause to his death. I pulled the car into the driveway and ran to Derek's side to help him into the house, luckily dad was having a night shift so there were no screams. Well not dad's.

"Come on big guy" he led Derek through the door and into the kitchen where the first aid kit was "keep pressure on it" Stiles ordered as he opened the cabinet to get the kit. A low hiss made him turn around and see Derek's hand laying limply on the wound "God please don't die in my kitchen" he cried, finally reaching the kit and grabbing it quickly to aid Derek's bleeding abdomen.

"Show me the cut" he ordered and Derek obliged, slowly taking the towel off and hissing when the fabric caught on some dried blood by the wound. Stiles took a deep breath before grabbing medically sterile needle and string with some disinfecting alcohol, when he looked at the wound it seemed smaller then at first glance. Probably the adrenaline got him a bit over freaked out then needed. but that's good, a wound this size shouldn't be a problem, he'll live.

"Derek i need you to take a deep breath because i don't have any anesthetics" Stiles tried to ease Derek into this fact but failed miserably.

Derek shook his head "i can take it" his breathing sounded better than before so Stiles decided to act.

"Ok. here we go".

He poured some alcohol on the wound to which amazingly Derek didn't hiss. Good, he thought as he treaded the string through the needle with surprisingly steady hands. One...two...three, he counted in his head before breaking the skin above the cut and treading the first loop. Derek's breathe hiched and he released a long hiss when Stiles let the string through the pierced hole, and again when he moved to the lower part of the wound to sew the skin together. The blood didn't stop flowing and Stiles was sure Derek was on verge of passing out, but when he picked up his head Derek's eyes were strained on him.

After four stitches the wound was finally closed, Stiles cleaned up the remaining blood and placed a clean bandage on it. Amazing, was all that came through his head when he sat before Derek. Throughout the whole thing Derek never screamed (Stiles did), never shouted back when Stiles complained, only breathless gasps and hisses. Amazing he thought again.

"Are you alright?" He huffed out a breath he wasn't aware of holding onto.

"Thank you" Stiles blinked quickly gaping slightly.

"I don't want to be thanked for this, i want it deleted from my tiny little brain" his hands were bloody and his clothes are soaked from the rain, Derek alike, exhausted and cold. Shit.  
"Derek, come on you're going to freeze your ass off ".

"You're a good guy Stiles" Derek gave him a soft smile, almost nonexistent but still there, and it's enough, enough to make Stiles's heart beat slightly faster.

"Damn right i am, now come on".


	4. Chapter 4

The old lady didn't move, she didn't blink and didn't talk. After a pregnant pause she finally snapped her head to Stiles's hands and then back to his face.  
"You sewn his wound, inside your kitchen, when knowing basically nothing about him and no medical background" she stated, still sounding as lost as she looked.

"Yes" he answered simply, and of course it was simple after all it wasn't his first time.  
"Since i met Scott trouble never skipped over us, sometimes we fell or got hurt and Ms McCall would sew us up too, she was a nurse back at the day".

The old lady tried to assemble something in her mind together when it finally clicked "Melissa McCall? The current Dean of medicine at BHMH?" She asked full of excitement.

"Yes she's Scott's mom, so because of her i caught few basic things, less worries to my dad when his son got injured but could hide it good enough" the old lady gave him a stern look but didn't lecture. Good. It's not her place to do that.

"Well then please continue".

-

Later on when me and Derek changed out of our wet clothes and the kitchen was clean from blood, i ordered Derek to rest on my bed, while i turned on my computer and began to search some recent reports about the forest, Derek fell asleep. Unsurprisingly the scene of him laying softly on my bed, wearing my clothes and looking so vulnerable made me look fondly at him, i didn't know anything about him, up until a month ago i didn't even knew his name, and yet now he is on my bed, in my house and being protected by me alone.

"Stiles! Are you up?!" John shouted from downstairs.

"Yeah sup d-" Stiles turned towards the door with a smile and remembered Derek Hale was inside his room "-erek, shit!" He ran towards the door to close it as far as possible.

"What did you call me?" John asked when finally reaching his son's bedroom.

"I said sup dady-yo....." he answered sheepishly, standing awkwardly in the small opened space between the door and the the frame.

"Uh....sure....anyway, there has been some reports that mentioned an attack in the preserve, a blood trail was found indicating an injured party so im going to say it now, this is not a game, don't you dare to go out there and get yourself killed" John said strictly, pointing an accusing finger at Stiles's chest.

"Oh don't worry dad, i don't plan on going there ever again" he smiled awkwardly.

"I see....well, good night son" he hugged Stiles briefly and went to his bedroom.

"Yep good night" Stiles sighed heavily and stepped back into his room, that is when Derek appeared right in front of him and slammed him against the door.

"Holy shit! What the hell!? Shouldn't you be asleep?" He groaned in pain.

"If you tell him-"

"What? Tell him what?" They frowned at each other "hey dad Derek Hale is in my room, bring your gun?!" After few seconds Derek's frown softened and his death grip on the teens collar relaxed, his eyes stared straight into Stiles's and before releasing him, a brief glance fell upon the teens lips and he stepped away.  
"That's right big guy. My house, my rules" Stiles grinned at Derek who didn't look amused at all "Christ, don't be such a sourwolf".

After that incident Derek refused to fall asleep again, he didn't look in pain anymore but the frown didn't leave his forehead, eventually around 2 am Stiles gave in and announced he's going to sleep. Derek, as stubborn as he is sat on the floor by the bed, so out of pity Stiles threw a blanket at his face and went to sleep "good night" he said behind his blanket and in return a soft 'good night' was heard from Derek.

When i woke up Derek was gone, the blanket neatly folded on the floor and the window left open. That was the end of my second encounter with Derek Hale.

-

"I see no reason to love a person like that, he's undecisive and rude, moreover he hurt you" the old lady picked up her binder and placed the glasses back on.

Stiles snorted in return. Well to her eyes the whole world is just pockets so if course she wouldn't get it. They are guys, this is not some perfect romcom situation. Derek was broken, he came to me and i couldn't turn him down because i knew, i knew he felt as lost as i was when i lost my mother.

"Was this an abusive relationship?" The old lady started to write inside her binder. Trying to maintain a professional aura around her. Like hell she could. Did she even finished her degree before assuming such things?  
Stiles looked around the room searching for her diploma on one of the walls, at last he found it behind her work desk and sighed. What idiot gave her that.

"I don't want to hear about love from a dinosaur" she flinched "we were guys, have you ever seen guys talk things out? Didn't think so you hag" he sneered and the old lady frowned at him.

"I understand that you are hurt b-" she began to say but Stiles cut in with a deep fake laugh.

"You understand? Oh really?!" He mocked "you know how it is to be torn away from this earth and slammed against the cold ground when you knew that the person who loved you for 9 years will never say he loves you ever again! Because he's fucking gone!" He slammed his fists against the coffee table making the vase of flowers topple over.

"Stiles calm down!" She stood to help him but he bashed her hands away.

"You hypocritical bitch! How dare you say our relationship was abusive! What the hell do you know! That night i found him all bloody and drenched, was the night he lost his entire family and almost his own life!" He huffed heavily, the old lady slumped back into her seat with guilt flushing on her face.  
"After that i saw him sometimes in the preserve or the supermarket, but i didn't knew! I was talking to him like nothing happened, like his entire family wasn't slaughtered by some psychotic bitch that ran away from Eichen House!" The tears began to flow and he didn't care. They were for Derek so he didn't feel ashamed of them. Like these tears belonged to Derek so was his heart, his body and soul.  
"what is there left for me to live for now that he's gone? What is there left in this disgusting world except his gravestone?".

They said nothing, the old lady knew now her place. she made him say what she wanted, but what could she do now to help him. Nothing. The university didn't teach her all these years back how to help those who can't be helped.

"I didn't came here to help myself. I don't need it. I don't want to forget about Derek, i want him back"

  
"He's gone Stiles".


	5. Chapter 5

"I know" he said calmly "trust me i know that" He took a seat back on the couch.

"Im sorry" she said.

"No you're not" Stiles smiled at the old crook, to which surprisingly enough, she smiled back.

"You had almost 10 years with him, most people can't even get even one, don't you think it's a miracle by itself?" She asked from behind her binder, still smiling widely but not synthetically like before, there was something behind that smile, something familiar.

"I wanted more, i wanted to die old in his arms, in our bed, surrounded by our family and friends".

"That is very idealistic, wouldn't you say?" The pen skipped up and down in her fingers as she asked.

"That was how much i loved him, i would've loved him till the day i die and even after" Stiles smiled at the ring that laced his finger.  
"It should've been me" he sighed and the old lady froze.

"What if it was you?" She asked after a long pause.  
Stiles picked up his eyes to the old lady to find her smiling softly, almost humanly.  
"What if it was you, and in your place it was him who cried and broken down after your death, what then? Would've you taken his place then?" 

Stiles looked to the empty space beside him on the couch. What if it really was Derek sitting before her. He could see it, he could see Derek seat on this couch, holding his head and just crying and screaming just like Stiles did. Would've Derek said the same to her too. Would he tell her she's fake and disgusting. would he say he missed every second of their life together. Would he move on. He probably would shake his head each time John would try to offer a talk. Probably run to the preserve and curve out the initials they curved into the old oak tree all these years back, and just scream. Stiles hated the thought, all this suffering shouldn't be on Derek's shoulders, he lost everything before, would it really be best to let him be the one to die internally alone in this world instead of with the memories and the knowledge that he died surrounded by his loved ones.

"But he would've lived" Stiles muffled out from between the hitched up breaths that held his tears back.

"Wouldn't he say the same?" The old lady offered.

"He would've" Stiles sighed into his hands "he goddamn would've. It's just that- i know the whole 'he's in a better place now' but his place is here, if not by my side then out there, traveling the world like he always wanted, hell! Even find someone else to love, have a normal life all anew away from all this and just be happy and alive".

A warm hand landed softly on his shoulder and he looked upwards to find the old lady smiling softly and warmly at him. The touch felt so familiar and warm, like he saw her before, like they met.

"You want him to go on and live, and he wants you to move on as well" she sat beside Stiles and circled her thin arms around him. Nostalgia washed over him, her smell was so familiar and tingling that it brought the tears back to his eyes.

"It's time to go honey" the voice suddenly changed to the sweet one, when he looked at her again her white hair and wrinkled skin was no more, a brown warm hair flowed down onto her shoulders and honey brown eyes like his looked at him softly. 

"Mom?" He asked not caring about the tears the blurred his vision slightly, the women smiled and kissed him softly on the forehead.

"Im sorry honey" Claudia said sadly offering another hug to her son "it's time".  
She entwined their fingers together and led him to the white door that led outside her office.

"Mom, why are you here? Am i asleep?" He asked but Claudia didn't answer, she squeezed his hand and smiled warmly but sadly once more. And then it hit him.

"It was me who died" she opened the door and a bright light flushed over the room.  
"He's going to be alright, right?".

"He will" Claudia said at last "after all he is your husband".

-

"Call the time of death".

"09:52 AM".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for following up on this work♡ hope i didn't kill anyone♡♡♡


End file.
